Angers and Alcohol

I don't feel anger or hatred. Just the calm rush of blood to my head and the soothe of the alcohol numbing my senses. My tongue, taken over by the release of etiquette, slips into a long rant. Relief welcomes me, like a mother caressing her crying son. I want to complain, i want to destroy, i want to break things. The only thing that breaks is resolve.  Empathy, a comfort carved out from the battle scarred mind. A billion unpleasantries raked up at the doorstep of an unstable mind. A bout of insanity ready to take over. Ready to unleash a steady flow of retrospection. Rage, potent and ready like the sword in the hilt, eager to taste the blood of the sacrifice, the trophy, the kill. Memories, piercing, sharp and poisoned with the illusions of happy times. Control, the coward that runs away to make room for the momentary rapture of intoxication. The bottle, a comrade, prepared, by your side, ready to die by the sword for a willing soldier. Feelings, abyssmal, sucking you in for the void that it is. People, a futile pigment of tattered imagination. Solitude, adrenaline, driving the sword through, cutting, shredding, piercing. Sobriety, the call of battle. Relevance, the injured. Irony, vultures in the sky, lying in wait, savoring the devoured. Fate, a creature of habit. Battered minds and numb sickened eyes. Revelations, the foresight that saved none.Another drink goes down the throat. Smooth.Relieving. Inner peace. Somewhere between sobriety and throwing up, lies contentment.
                       Yes, NOW, I feel nothing. Yes, at first it was a contradiction. On a lighter note, quote unquote,
"Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!" - Eleanor Early.

The Pythagorean Triplets

     Triangles ... Something i've always hated, right from school. Old man pythagoras, god forsaken trigonometry, et all ... always hated the fare. Equilateral, or isosceles or scalene, the types don't matter ...turns out,  they all are blatantly annoying and gruesomely troublesome. So, i chose to live in curseful embellishment of the plain fact that i hated all things triangular. Even nachos, had been turned distasteful by mathematical reality. The very idea of having sin and cosine down my throat, gave my stomach enough jitters to barf.  Well, turns out that i'm to have this putrid phenomenon tagging along with me for the rest of my life, cause apparently triangles and applications are all around the god damn place. Take relationships for example. AH! Now, you know where i'm headed with this whole boring business of geometrical proportions ! As we all are accustomed to reality, sure that we all concede that karma's a bitch !
                     So, yeah ... love triangles. WOW! Got to give it to them man, they've really made their point that the hatred we share is mutual. Taking the law of averages, i've been run over nine out of ten times by a third person. The one time i did manage to stay afloat, turns out the girl left me out to dry, of course marriage on her cards. Yeah, i'm joking! Again, i might be digressing from triangles, but trust me its always the guy who shows up late that gets the chick man! That's such a load of baloney! Sad part, its in your face if you've been there, done that and bought the t-shirt! That dude who lies at wait, is a legend. Have fun with another one, get done, steal your chick and get on the run! SWWEEETT eh ? Yeah, sucks for me though cause i've always been a staunch believer of "early bird catches the worm". Turns out that its just a mythical boo hah. They don't call it "fashionably late" for nothing, you know ! My case, its even more hopeless, cause i got whole of geometry lining up against me. So much for fate being impartial huh ? If this is destiny, i've been screwed !
                     Pardon my use of animated language in a written article, but i've been stifled and left disarrayed by the third dude! Here i was thinking the third guy in a love triangle was the girl's best friend and turned out to be gay! That might have cause certain other problems for us guys, but hey, its better off than watching the douche bag make away with your girl man! LIKE SERIOUSLY! Of course, to arrive "fashionably late" and leave with the booty, you must have a repertoire of other skills and possessions like say ... WAIT> don't look for charm or charisma or intelligence or wit or a personality. Inevitably, all that the guy is equipped with is a sports car, a credit card, a rotten sense of humour, or, atleast, an accent. "THAT'S SO HOOTT !!" NOT! . Of course, he always wins. Because, after all with the above mentioned things in his arsenal, how is it worldly possible to lose the battle ? Theatrical stuff. Put in a few item songs, and here's something your kids can learn a thing or two from, atleast they might make some headway in such issues. A complete family entertainer!
                       Well, getting to the subject of the speculations and arguments ... THE GIRL herself! Applause, ladies and gentlemen! She is the single most, in demand protagonist. She orchestrates, acts, directs ... like a thespian. You can never blame a girl in a love triangle though. Cause, its human tendency to give both sides of the coin a fair chance. That said, she obviously has a favorite side. So, my good friend, if its not you, get to the bottom of every bottle ... you'll need it! And by the end of this wild goose chase, you'll be pleasantly surprised how things can "deja vu" without your knowledge. I mean, its got to do with sin^2 x + cos^2 x = 1. YES! You're not meant to get it ! AMEN!

Fleeting between girls and grades

There were these two young boys sitting in a class,
Each dreaming of his own pretty lass;
"Teacher, your lectures through our heads do they pass,
Because our girls are really pretty and you're full of gas !!"

The physics professor always put them to sleep,
Through Newton's laws , their slumber became deep:
And into their ensuing dream did these girls come and creep,
Bouncing off bad grades, off their feet did them, they sweep !

Of carbon and hydrogen did chemistry sing a lore,
The bald man teaching them was, oh, such a bore.
Alkanes and alcohols, damn, at tests they did never score ...
And then, the pretty maidens showed up with whiskey at their door !

The math lady, it seemed was mostly a drag,
Calculus and geometry, now they said she was a hag -
Her classes never ended, and the homeworks would sag,
Through all the chaos, about them pretty girls would these fellows brag !

Until ,at a big party two rich strapping young men these girls met,
As they slinked away with them lads, these fellers broke into a sweat ...
About lost bounty and bad grades now, did these casanovas fret,
As they sullenly watched their fair maidens leave them without regret !

Embrace of Fate

I was calling out to the light,

Waiting to be taken by her ...

To be embraced by her clarity;

And to tread the world, her by my side.



She came, she saw, she conquered;

Leaving me a mere watching mortal ...

She shone the seas, and lit the lands,

Heavy hearts she healed with her aura.



Those whose eyes beheld, saw rapture,

And then those of us who didn't, were lesser,

She filled dark voids with her brilliance,

And lonely souls would be given her un-biased love.



So one night, she softly lifted me from slumber;

And toward the sea she did lead me ...

Yearning for a companion i followed, lost to the world,

Into the waters i did go, hoping to be bathed in her light !



Drowning, i yearned for her touch,

Drained of energy, but waiting for purpose;

Devoid of sanity, hoping for clarity,

I was at her mercy, waiting for her embrace ...



Strangely, she did notice a lesser mortal at the sea,

Praying, hoping, crying for his futility to be taken away,

And so, a choice she did make, and it was all blissful again,

I felt no love, no clarity, no purpose, only overwhelming silence ...



It seemed so, that light had made a choice,

Her love was un-biased no longer, for she yearned for a companion,

And this crying mortal was indeed chosen, for he completed her;

The tides, beckoning me, i embraced release and light was gone ...



Leaving me forever chained to Poseidon.

Forbidden Fruit

      Contemplation is often what one does at his lonely best. More often than not, we let by-gones fill our nearly empty void of potent fallacies, which so happens, to be our staple diet for a lonely evening. Cutting to the chase, a lot of thought i gave to the culmination of loneliness and romance. Now, here is what we would typically call ... an emotional molotov. It works just like the contents of a molotov mind you, the alcohol floods you with welcome relief and then the fire engulfs you completely, burning you inside out. Nevertheless, it leaves you craving for forbidden fruit, which people cause to believe was adam's downfall. Maybe that's why before we had our current modes of recreation, each family kept adding to the population like two bunnies in a cage. Jokes apart, i'd say if we took a consensus about what we'd all do left alone to ourselves, we'd probably on a 80-20 scale wind up craving for that "forbidden fruit'. Especially if you're still attached to someone who's attached to some one else. Confused ? Join the club.
      So, this one evening ... power cuts made me feel like i was amish (no racism intended), primitivity was annoying me like a buzzing bee and i was getting to my fidgety best. My grandmother, noticing the immediate spark of insanity, suggested i meditate (or something on those lines). Before the ensuing amusement, while i say i actually gave it a shot ... i'd like to give my grams a big hug for the discreet cure. So i set off, hoping for a momentary rapture or a cloud of enlightenment, and wound up on the 80-20 .Surprised ? I guess not. All the past memories placed themselves in front of me like a brick wall and sure to say, that i regretted so many failed relationships. Now, i'm just patiently waiting for the ladder to climb over it. Gets me wondering how many different interesting individuals it would take to put me over this wall. Ah, the fresh smell of forbidden fruit. :D

Perspective of 2011.

The new year started as usual, with me feeling like what my friend vivek would say "a dazed fuck monkey". As ritualistic as alcohol may seem at a new year's eve party, this was a confluence of creatively like minded people bonding over some much needed intoxicated insanity. Yes, the ingredients of the brew were stereo -typical, but such a revelation filled night of experiences shared and incidents brought to light, left me reeling with one single question in my head- "how can such a night turn into a sour year"? Then again, that was before our hammered geniuses decided to whip up a hell ride cocktail. After many games and swigs and lost alcohol counts, the lot of us monkeys that were still sober found their way to the beds. The rest of us, weren't so lucky. Sprawled on the floor in what seemed like a tryst with Pluto, i got my first indication of how exactly things would be so disastrously similar to 2010. My liver having a mind of its own, pumped bile all the way into my throat thereby causing a cataclysmic chemical reaction in my stomach, leading to a horrendous spillage of all the "guts" i ever had. Dazed, i looked around ... Ah, the serenity of absolute drunken-ness.

The next morning, things were back to normal, the sun was at his majestic burning best, from toothpaste to idly-vada, everything tasted like whiskey, and for the life of me, i still couldn't fathom why, everyone was as chirpy as a humming-bird. Then again, merriment never always seemed strange, especially on a hung over morning. We said our good-byes and as usual, my fifteen year old scooter revved to life. In a non-chalant, numb state i almost reached home when, poof ... another god damn puncture. another perfect score for god for really pushing me over every new year. Resigned to fate, i left for home ... wondering what this year would have in roller-coasters for me. I just caught a glimpse. Crystal. :D

Forgotten Sands

As i walk the length of the shore,
The furtive glances of the sea beckon ...
Soft and discreet, they sing a lore,
Of minds and minutes, you'd reckon.

The air smelling its effervescent best,
And the sky - skeptically assuring,
Calm - taking the load off your chest -
A sense of release - not enduring !

The sun mocking me with my shadow,
Emotions galore, thrown around like a pack of cards...
Ah the futility of joy knows no bounds,
And the irony of life, is its greatest gift !

Purpose - Provide the sands under my feet,
Gently obeying gravity, caressing my burdens ...
Taken apart by waves, yet returning to the treaders,
A warm blanket of unquestionable faith !

Epitome of struggle, but valiantly strong,
Skilfully defiant, yet utterly feeble -
Devoid of emotion, yet so soulfully human,
Lacklusture in value, yet precious in purpose !

The last thing to kiss us goodbye when we die !
Quote "For Dust thou art, to dust returnest" unquote.

- Gautam